Sixteen days of attending the Mindful Facilitation for Empowerment: Training of Trainers: (TOT) have come to an end, marking the close of nearly three weeks at Gaia Ashram.
Each time I come to Gaia Ashram, I arrive with a different intention. I meet different people, experience different facets of Gaia’s energy, and leave with new insights and a different kind of growth.
This time, my biggest takeaway was rediscovering myself and gaining a new understanding of the path I have travelled.
Ever since I first became involved in environmental and sustainable living initiatives, I have often found myself in my partner’s shadow, a passionate environmental activist, community builder, and connector. Over the more than ten years we have been together, my partner, along with a few friends had poured their hearts into running an environment education organization, building a strong presence in the local sustainability community, and connecting with businesses and international schools.
Back then, I had my own work and career. I would occasionally join the events they organized, but I had grown accustomed to being part of this world as ‘the partner’ and a behind-the-scenes supporter.
It has now been five years since I left the corporate world and moved to the countryside to explore a more sustainable way of living. Throughout these years, I have been searching for a new sense of identity. How do I want to connect with the world? In what ways can I contribute, and how can I help bring about the changes I wish to see?
For a long time, I felt that the experience I had gained, the identity I had built, and the power I had developed during my years in the corporate world had all been buried in the past as my way of life changed. I needed to find a new direction and discover who I was becoming.
What surprised me most during the TOT was the realization that the power I thought I had lost, had never really left me.
It had been growing quietly in the very ground where I had buried my former identity. It had not disappeared; it had simply been changing through these years of living, exploring, and growing. The power emerging now is a continuation of who I was, yet it feels entirely different in its nature.
There is less sharpness, and more softness and simplicity. Less fear and uncertainty, and more ease and groundedness. Less attachment to frameworks and control, and more flexibility and flow. Less striving and self-criticism, and more acceptance and compassion.
This discovery filled me with a sense of wonder. I realized that I did not need to separate myself from who I had been. Every experience had shaped me in its own way, and I could finally look back and recognize what each chapter of my life had truly meant. For the first time, I felt I could make peace with every version of myself along the way.
I also began to see how some of my own qualities could become a force for change, inspiring people to find greater balance in their lives and make choices that are more sustainable and kinder to both themselves and the environment. I am beginning to see more clearly the kind of life we want to build together, and how we hope to contribute to the world around us.
The sixteen-day training was intensive and full of discovery. Every day brought opportunities to explore, learn, and reflect across different areas. We moved between the roles of facilitators, participants, and observers, engaging in mindfulness practices, individual practice, pair practice, and group activities. Each experience offered a different perspective and a new opportunity to learn through practicing.
Throughout the process, my emotions and energy went through many ups and downs. In the midst of it all, we also experienced the loss of a beloved family member, who had been with us for more than five years.
Yet looking back, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. The experience was full of light, richness, and moments that I will carry with me for a long time.
I came with curiosity, and I leave with a clearer sense of purpose and a deeper connection to my own inner power. I have also come to make peace with the person I have been and the path that has brought me here.
I am deeply grateful to our three facilitators for their passion, trust, and patience; to every participant for showing up with such openness and wholehearted commitment; and to the land at Gaia Ashram for gently holding space for everything that unfolded.
My journey as a facilitator has only just begun. I am still learning and finding my way into this new role, but I am ready to move forward with this renewed sense of my own inner power.
October 2026, Gaia Ashram
This is a personal reflection shared by one of the participants after participating in the Mindful Facilitation for Empowerment: Training of Trainers: (TOT), held at Gaia Ashram, Thailand.
