At the funeral as the pyre was burning the body of whom we once called Pracha Hutanuwatra, I found myself mourning deeply. I felt as if the fire was burning in my heart.
I felt the loss of someone who was very important to my life. This feeling of loss and mourning brought up memories and a chance to contemplate how deep I have connected to him and why.
I looked around at the funeral gathering, there were many people there. I didn’t know all of them but I knew they had, in the same way or different ways, that same deep connection with him. Here in this reflection. I am only going to speak for myself.
Through his education approaches, his commitment for social change, his faith in humanity, his compassion and his presence; he helped me to believe in myself. He helped me to overcome that sense of inferiority I had inherited from my societal culture and education.
Before I met Pracha I never imagined that a simple Isaan girl who grew up in a poor rice farmer family in a remote area of Thailand, would someday be able to stand up confidently in front of people from different backgrounds, countries, ideologies, cultures and higher social ranks. People from the Isaan region are frequently perceived – both by outsiders and within our own community – as poor, uneducated, and lower-class. This perception was strong when I was growing up, and is still prevalent even today. Although I had a certain level of self-confidence, that I think was already a lot more than many of my friends at school, this inferiority complex arising from this inherited perception, was blinding me from seeing and dreaming of my highest potential as a human being. Pracha saw me beyond my own walls. He helped me to see those walls and enabled me to cross over and explore myself beyond it.
His education approaches were holistic and deep. Back then I was young, I followed his teachings, guidance and instructions with trust. I didn’t fully understand, nor cared to comprehend the logic and philosophy behind his approaches. Today I think I have come to a better understanding of his methodologies, and I’d like to share my thoughts here as a gesture to honor his love, effort and commitment to bring about change at the personal, local and global level, through education.
What I understand now is that Self Awareness and Mindfulness was the foundation of his teachings. He introduced various Self Awareness and Mindfulness practices as key modules in his programs. An engaged Buddhist activist, Pracha used Buddhism ideologies as his main reference and also introduced many other practices from different faiths, including scientific approaches, indigenous knowledge, and local wisdom from the East, West, North and South, that aligned and served the purpose of building self-awareness and mindfulness. This enabled his teachings on Self Awareness and Mindfulness to reach multiple people from diverse backgrounds and beliefs. It embraced the diversity of people, and at the same time allowed people to learn from diverse approaches, looking at themselves from several different mirrors.
Apart from his Buddhism inspired practices, a few examples of some of the principles he introduced during his programs include Process Oriented Phycology, Transformative Psychotherapy, Vision Quest, Non-Violent Communication, Exposure to local and indigenous cultures, etc.
The learning of Self Awareness and Mindfulness that leads to Personal Empowerment takes a holistic approach. During his training sessions, I remember distinctly he and his team would frequently put out several deep and open-ended questions for us to reflect on. In the process, I had multiple opportunities to reflect on my life and past experiences. His approaches also led us to encounter new experiences and provided space for self-reflection, allowing us to realize ever more who we are. All these multiple deep reflective learning experiences were made possible by a community of co-learners that was consciously built from the very beginning. Sangkha (A community of good friends who are honest and compassionate) is a solid container for our deep learning. Through these multiple learning methods, I then realized the existence of the wall within me, that was blocking me from seeing the greater potential in myself.
Pracha’s teachings also led us to explore our sense of the ‘self’, a paradigm that goes beyond the individual self, and allows us to explore and expand our sense of the interconnectedness self, that helps us to widen our awareness of the world, the human world and the more than human world around us. This also helped us to gain a sense of responsibility and find the deep commitment to contribute to positive change in the world. I realized this through the Deep Ecology, Engaged Spirituality and Engaged Buddhism concepts he introduced. It is Deep Ecology and Engaged Buddhism that helped me to see the connection between myself and the world around me, as well as seeing my place in it.
Pracha’s teachings also emphasize on learning about social structures, structural violence and the root cause that brought about these problematic social structures. Through this learning I started to realize the connection between the wall within me and the wall within others. I started to see the strong presence of the wall that disconnect us from ourselves, from each other, and from the natural world around us. This wall is an old paradigm. Thus, I am able to see clearly the difference between my battle as an activist, and my role as an educator.
This whole learning journey has helped me find myself and my place in the world.
At Pracha’s funeral, I understand why some people said they hold him dear in their hearts as a father. He helped us to give birth to our true self, a true human being with potentials. His teachings changed us and it empowered us to be a part of the positive change movement in the world. It’s an education that help us to find meanings and purpose.
I am here today in Hong Kong, sitting in a guestroom writing this article after I have just finished facilitating a Deep Ecology and a Paradigm Shift workshop for social workers and activist here. Looking back to the day I first met him, I say to myself, I have come a long way. Through his teachings I found my path. He taught me how to walk left and right, with both strength and humility. Tears keep running down as I recall those memories and connections with him. They are tears of joy, gratitude and honor.
How could someone, in one lifetime, be able to make impactful change, so far and so deep?
I continue my journey of learning from him.
Sunisa Jamwiset Deiters
May 30th 2023
Hong Kong